It is essential for us to fulfil our erotic or sensual desires by striving towards a path of moderation. This entails having a balanced approach towards understanding sexual desire in the first place and not seeing it as ‘sinful’ which is straight out of the Abrahamic playbook. Prudish conservatives often wish to sneer at the mere mention of the word but the real problem lies with indiscriminate indulgence i.e. those that see gratification of their carnal desires as one of the primary aims of life, and subsequently devote much of their time, attention, energy and monetary or non-monetary resources towards that end.

The Hindu worldview has arguably understood the nature of sensual desires far better than their Abrahamic counterparts. The latter (particularly Christianity) with its premise of ‘original sin’ has decreed all forms of sexual desire to be corrupt and immoral from the get-go. They encourage suppression and denial of one’s innate desires and proclaim such feats to be the highest of virtues. Naturally, this leads to a great deal of sexual angst and frustration followed by the inevitable shame and guilt. Having suppressed these desires for so long they begin to erupt and individuals can then do little to restrain them. Not for them is the middle path of moderation. That happy ‘middle’ would strike the right balance rather than opting for either prudery or promiscuity. As we are currently seeing in the West and increasingly in Urban India, the reaction against this prudery has led people to jump to the other extreme and embrace uninhibited hedonism. This constant subjection to sensual pleasures dulls our sensory perceptions: our sense of touch, smell, sight, taste and hearing. The high that comes after these acts may be exhilarating in the short run but proves to be devastating in the long run. Once cut off from that ephemeral high, many crave the feeling again and again. It becomes an addiction and the only way to satisfy such cravings leads to them sinking headlong once more back into the same vicious cycle of promiscuity or ‘hookup culture’ as it has come to be known over the last decade or so.

One sees this play out in full swing amongst members of my own generation i.e. the fickle nature of relationships and the rapid rotation of partners. People assume that if their partners are not ‘stimulating’ or interesting enough, there must be something terribly wrong with them and they must be replaced urgently. It is a different matter that the next one is usually similar to the predecessor but the thrill of a fresh experience is a tempting motivator. The nagging desire for variety, which often feels like a need, is only encouraged by multiple forms of media with their notoriously inaccurate depictions of relationships. People often forget that we are what we consume, and all forms of entertainment inform our value points and worldview at some level. If these are the depictions & examples that impressionable youngsters see, then that is what will ensue and play out in their own lives.

We are truly heading towards an era of heady decadence, if we’re not already sinking under it. Hedonism if you prefer. Of course, such movements have always existed throughout history but never have they been so widely celebrated in mainstream culture and popular imagination as things currently stand, as a pinnacle for one and all to aspire towards. I’m fond of saying this but the end point of all this extravagance is always a deadening and chronic dissatisfaction. That sobering realisation that somehow the endless pleasure does not result in long-lasting happiness or contentment but instead pain and suffering, that could well have been easily avoided. I’m terribly sorry to sound so grim but unfortunately, the reality is indeed grim and far from getting rosier, unless we go about attempting to fix it.

Is there a solution? I’d like to think so. Provided we are willing to embrace certain sobering truths, re-examine our previously held beliefs and be receptive to those solutions. Even if or rather especially if, those solutions don’t fit our conception of a suitable remedy. As alluded to earlier, the Hindu framework and ethos with its frank admission of human desire easily provide us with a better model. To both understand and navigate the fulfilment of desires, both sensual and otherwise, in a balanced manner. Without wreaking havoc with the individual’s psyche and physical-emotional health.

As per the Hindu framework, there exist four Purusharthas or goals that amply cover the entire spectrum of what a human being should aspire to in his or her lifetime. This is not necessarily limited to his or her present life but across multiple future births as well:

1. Moksha
2. Dharma
3. Artha, and
4. Kama

Moksha is liberation from this endless cycle of human births and deaths. Freedom from the bondage of human embodiment, grief and pain.The highest level of spiritual attainment and of course, far from easy to obtain.

Dharma is that which sustains and binds the cosmic order. It can also refer to each individual’s innate calling, duty or even ‘purpose’ in life. That which is unique to them and in aligning with what occurs naturally to them, they do not violate the fabric of cosmic order.

Artha is the means of material sustenance. It includes all activities pertaining to earning a livelihood as well as the acquisition of monetary resources, in line with one’s Dharma.

Kama refers to desires of all kinds although it is commonly understood as sensual or erotic desires.

There is a definite hierarchy to the Purusharthas. While Hinduism acknowledges and encourages the fulfilment of desires pertaining to Artha and Kama, it has to be done within the confines of what Dharma dictates, or else it would lead to massive upheaval and imbalances at multiple levels of the cosmos. We are witnessing societal collapses to a certain degree in modern-day societies where one person’s chasing of his Artha and Kama clashes with others and things quickly go awry. Some have deliberately ignored the latter part i.e. acting in accordance with Dharma and have chased the fulfilment of Kama to the exclusion of the others. They even justify it by claiming that the scriptures sanctify their distorted position. If Kama is not fulfilled in a Dharmic manner and in moderation, it is easy to lose track of what one is actually chasing and get trapped in a vicious cycle of sex and endless desires. Kama must be viewed in perspective: as a possible stepping stone towards Moksha and eventual spiritual attainment through institutions such as Vivaha (Marriage). Unfortunately, people have forgotten about Moksha, Dharma and moderation & what was meant to be the means have instead become the end.