Did you know that the four circumambulations (pheras) that we take around the holy fire during our marriage represent the 4 goals of mankind – Dharma, Artha, Kama, and Moksha – also known as the Pursharthas? When we get married, the groom leads the bride in the first three rounds and the wife leads the husband in the last round representing Moksha. Surprised? Don’t be; it is only with the wife’s support and help that any man can attain Moksha because she is the only one who can make a man go beyond wealth and desires and concentrate on Dharma & Moksha. That is how important the wife’s role is in any marriage.

I am Saraswati Bai and I am going to tell you my story as the wife of one of Bharat’s greatest musicians and composer of devotional songs. If it had not been for an incident involving me, probably he would have just been another jeweler and money lender. Because of a miraculous incident, I went from being the wife of the richest man who was called a Navakoti Narayana to a person who went from house to house, taking grains as bhiksha. Yes, I’m the wife of Purandara Dasa, the renowned Bhakti Saint of Karnataka and this is my story.

My husband, Shrinivasa Nayaka, was the only son of the wealthy merchant Varadappa Nayaka and his wife Rukmini. I married him when he was just 16 and unfortunately, four years later, my in-laws passed away. Thanks to our deep love for each other, we soon had four sons and a daughter. I was never lacking in wealth as our business was flourishing. But I was very unhappy with one aspect of my husband’s personality – he was a miser. I used to try my best to influence him to become generous, but he felt that giving away money was akin to disrespecting Lakshmi Mata, the Devi of Wealth.  In my heart, I knew that giving Daan-Dakshina was very important as per our Shastras and that wealth beyond our needs had to be given away to those who needed it for survival or for Dharmic work. 

My pleas to my husband to become generous fell on deaf ears and as a last resort, I prayed sincerely to Bhagawan Sri Krishna to make my husband see the error of his ways. One day, a poor Brahmin came to my husband’s shop begging for money to perform his son’s Upanayana (thread ceremony). My husband told him to come back after six months. When the Brahmin came back after six months with hope-filled eyes, my husband gave him some worn-out coins, knowing fully well that the ceremony could not be conducted with only so much money. His greed for money had made him a cruel miser! The Brahmin was heartbroken; he apparently knew that I was a generous woman. So he approached me and asked me for some alms to perform the ceremony. How could I refuse him? Contributing to the marriage of an eligible kanya (girl) or for the Janeu Sanskaar (thread ceremony) of a Vatu (student boy) was my Dharma. But I knew that if I would give from my money box, my miserly husband would get very angry with me. The Brahmin then suggested that maybe I could give him something that belonged to me, something that my parents would have given me as my Streedhan in my marriage. Yes! That was it! I quickly gave him my diamond nose ring and told him to sell it and use the money for the Upanayana. 

A little while later my husband stormed into our house and demanded to see my diamond nose ring. The Brahmin had gone to his shop to pawn the nose ring and my husband recognized it. He was furious that I had given away such a precious ornament to a stranger. I was scared. I thought that my husband would disown me as his wife and I started imagining worse things. I was petrified that the entire society would disrespect me. I decided to kill myself. I went to Sri Krishna and asked for His forgiveness and protection. There was a small container with poison in my kitchen and I rushed to drink it. 

What was this?? In the container was my diamond-studded nose ring! It was a miracle. I rushed to my husband to give it to him. My husband was equally perplexed. He rushed to his shop to compare it with the nose ring that the Brahmin had given him. Another miracle! There was no Brahmin, nor was there any nose ring. He came back home and gently requested me to tell him the truth.

This was the turning point in our lives. At that miraculous moment, my husband realized that his miserliness had made him a monster. He had been visited by Sri Krishna Himself who wanted him to see the error of his ways. He gave up all attachment to his money and gave it all away to the needy. Then he, my children, and I began a new life of renunciation. We composed devotional songs and went from house to house singing these songs and in return, people used to show us their gratitude for having reminded them of Bhagawan, by giving us grains as alms. My sincere prayers to Sri Krishna had been answered and now we all were on the path of Dharma and Moksha by only taking His names and by truly leaving our lives in His hands. My act of ‘daan’ became the catalyst for my husband’s realization. If I had not been steeped in Dharma and understood my part as a Dharmapatni (wife) in attaining Moksha, I would have complained about becoming poor and would have harassed my husband to make our lives a little more comfortable materially.  

He soon attained the title of Purandara Dasa as given by his Guru Vyaasa Raaya. In his lifetime, my husband composed 4,75,000 devotional songs, all attributed to Purandara Vitthala, of which at atleast 1,000 songs still survive. His song ‘Bhagya da Lakshmi baaramma’ is sung at every South Indian wedding, ‘Krishna ni begaa ne baaro’ at every home, and ‘Kailasa vaasa Goureesha Eesha’ in every Temple. To tell you the truth, I am just one of the many Stri-shakti in Bharat who has contributed to saving our Dharma and our ancient civilization. Whether it was Savitri or Draupadi,  Ubhaya Bharati or Kannagi, our women have been steeped in virtuousness and egged on their husbands on the path of Dharma and Moksha. Beating our chests and crying “Victimhood” isn’t our way, fighting for our Dharma is what comes naturally to us. 

Be me, be a Bharatiya DharmaPatni. Bring back Dharma into our families.