यः शास्त्रविधिमुत्सृज्य वर्तते काम कारतः।

न स सिद्धिमवाप्नोति न सुखं न परां गतिम् ॥ (16-23 श्रीमद्भगवतगीता)

Ignoring the precepts of the scriptures, he who acts under the impulsion of the passion does not attain perfection, nor happiness, nor the supreme goal. (16-23 ShrimadBhagwadgita)

तस्माच्छास्त्रं प्रमाणं ते कार्यकार्यत्यवस्थितौ ।

ज्ञात्वा शास्त्रविधानोक्तं कर्म कर्तुमिहार्हसि ॥ (16-24 श्रीमद्भगवतगीता)

Therefore, the scriptures are your authority as regards the determination of what is to be done and what is not to be done. After understanding duty as presented by scriptural injunction you ought to perform your duty. (16-24 ShrimadBhagwadgita)

Srishti is divine play of Purusha and Prakriti at both micro and macro level. In different forms and ways Purusha and Prakriti create this complex structure of Sansara; without them this Saguna Sansara cannot exist. Human race too, is a product of these two divine forces, and Man and Woman are representatives of Purusha and Prakriti in human form. The whole of humanity thrives on the sacred union of Man and Woman. Across religions and cultures, marriage and family system holds a very important place. Here in this article, we will try to understand how Sanatana Dharma sees human birth and the family life in the sacred cycle of the srishti.

Characteristics Of a Jivaatama and Laws Governing Human Birth

Sanatana Dharma is structured around the idea of Sadgati of a Jivaatma.  The Jivaatma is a state where effects of karmas are applicable and subtle body is attached with it. Human form provides opportunity to secure sadagati for a jivaatma wandering in the cycle of birth & death. To better understand the importance of a human birth we need to be clear about the guiding philosophy about it as per Shastras. The nature & qualities jivaatma possess and how it travels from one form to another which will help in understanding things in a systematic way.

त्वङ्मांसरुधिरस्नायुमेदोमज्जास्थिसंकुलम्।
पूर्णं मूत्रपुरीषाभ्यां स्थूलं निन्द्यमिदं वपुः॥ (89 विवेकचूडामणि)
This gross body is made of skin, flesh, blood, arteries & nerves, fat, marrow and bones, filled with urine & excreta. (89 Viveka Chudamani)

पञ्चीकृतेभ्यो भूतेभ्यःस्थूलेभ्यः पूर्वकर्मणा।
समुत्पन्नमिदं स्थूलं भोगायतनमात्मनः।
अवस्था जागरस्तस्य स्थूलार्थानुभवो यतः॥ (90 विवेकचूडामणि)
This gross body is produced by one’s past actions out of the gross elements formed by the union of the subtle elements with each other and is the medium of experience for the jivaatma. That is its waking state in which it perceives gross objects. (90 Viveka Chudamani)

स्थूलस्य सम्भवजरामरणादि धर्माः स्थौल्यादयो बहुविधाः शिशुताद्यवस्थाः।
वर्णाश्रमादिनियमा बहुधा यमाः स्युः पूजावमानबहुमानमुखा विशेषाः॥ (93 विवेकचूडामणि)
Birth, decay and death are the various characteristics of the gross body as also stoutness, etc; childhood etc; are its different conditions; it has got various regulations regarding varna and aashrama; it is subject to various hardships. (93 Viveka Chudamani)

वागादिपञ्च श्रवणादिपञ्च प्राणादिपञ्चाभ्रमुखानि पञ्च।
बुद्ध्याद्यविद्यापि च कामकर्मणी पुर्यष्टकं सूक्ष्मशरीरमाहुः॥ (98 विवेकचूडामणि)
The five organs of action such as speech etc; the five organs of knowledge beginning with ear, the group of five pranas, ether and the five elements, intellect and the rest together with nescience desire these eight make up what is called the subtle body. (98 Viveka Chudamani)

सर्वव्यापृतिकरणं लिङ्गमिदं स्याच्चिदात्मनः पुंसः।
वास्यादिकमिव तक्ष्णस्तेनैवात्मा भवत्यसङ्गोयम् ॥ (102 विवेकचूडामणि)
This subtle body is the instrument for all activity of the aatma who is knowledge absolute like the adze and other tools of a carpenter. Therefore, this aatma is perfectly unattached. (102 Viveka Chudamani)

न जायते म्रियते वा विपश्चिन्नायं कुतश्चिन्न बभूव कश्चित्।
अजो नित्यः शाश्वतोऽयं पुराणो न हन्यते हन्यमाने शरीरे॥ (2-18 कठोपनिषद)

The ever- illuminated aatma  neither dies nor takes birth. Neither it has come from anything nor anything comes from it. This unborn, eternal, everlasting, ancient aatma does not get destroyed when the body gets destroyed. (2-18 Kathopnishad)

नैव स्त्री न पुमानेष न चैवायं नपुंसकः।
यथच्छरीरमादत्ते तेन तेन य युज्यते॥ (5-10 श्वेताश्वतरोपनिषद)

The aatma is neither male nor female nor neuter. Whatever body it assumes it becomes identified with that. (2-18 Shwetashwataropnishad)

योनिमन्ये प्रपद्यन्ते शरीरत्वाय देहिनः।
स्थाणुमन्येऽनुसंयन्ति यथाकर्म यथाश्रुतं॥ (2-2-7 कठोपनिषद)

Some jivaatmas go into wombs to be embodied others pass into the immovable yonis according to their karmas and knowledge (shastra based knowledge). (2-2-7 Kathopnishad)

यच्चित्तस्तेनैष प्राणमायाति प्राणस्तेजसा युक्तः सहात्मना यथासङ्कल्पितं लोकं नयति॥ (3-10 प्रश्नोपनिषद)

As per the sankalpa of the chitta the prana gets united with the fire. The fire then guided by the karmas takes the jivaatma to desired lokas. (3-10 Prashnopnishad)

सङ्कल्पनस्पर्शनदृष्टिमोहैर्ग्रासाम्बुवृष्ट्या चात्मविवृद्धिजन्म।
कर्मानुगान्यनुक्रमेण देही स्थानेषु रूपाण्यभिसंप्रपद्यते॥ (5-11 श्वेताश्वतरोपनिषद)

The way human body grows and gets nourished by consuming food and water in the same manner through volition, contact, sight, delusion etc. the auspicious and inauspicious karmas are performed by the jivaatma which results in its births in various yonis and lokas. (5-11 Shwetashwataropnishad)

स्वकर्म बद्धस्य तदा गर्भवृद्धिर्भवेदिति।
पुरायथा मया प्रोक्तं तव जन्तोर्हि लक्षणम् ॥ (2-46-33 गरुडपुराण)

एवं प्रवर्तितं चक्रं भूतग्रामे चतुर्विधे।
समुत्पत्तिर्विनाशश्च जायते तार्क्ष्य देहिनाम॥ (2-46-34 गरुडपुराण)

Bound by its own actions the jivaatma takes up body after body and undergoes series of births. This is how the circle whirls in the four kinds of being. Thus, the birth and death of living beings rotate. The rise in the course is due to virtuous actions and the fall is due to evil deeds. (2-46-33 and 34 Garuda Purana)

चतुरशीतिलक्षाणि चतुर्भेदाश्च जन्तवः।
अण्डजाः स्वदेजाश्चैव उद्भिज्जाश्च जरायुजाः॥ (2-12-2 गरुडपुराण)

There are eight million and four hundred thousand forms (yonis) of creatures divided into four main classes they are andajas (born of egg), svedajas(born of sweat), udbhijjas (born of seeds) and the jarayujas (the viviparous). (2-12-2 Garuda Purana)

एकविंशति लक्षाणि अण्डजाः परिकीर्त्तताः।
स्वेदाजाश्च तथा प्रोक्ता उद्भिज्जाश्च क्रमेण तु॥ (2-12-3 गरुडपुराण)

जरायुजास्तथा प्रोक्ता मनुष्याद्यास्तथा परे।
सर्वेषामेव मानुषत्वं जन्तुनां हि दुर्लभम्॥ (2-12-4 गरुडपुराण)

पञ्चेन्द्रियनिधानत्वं महापुण्यैश्वाप्यते। (2-12-5 गरुडपुराण)

The andajas are of two million and one hundred thousand varieties. Similarly, the svedajas, udbhijjas and the jarayujas in the last of which are included human beings are also enumerated. It is very difficult for the lower beings to get human birth. The receptacle of the set of five sense-organs can be acquired through great merits. (2-12-3, 4 and 5 Garuda Purana)

ततो जन्मशतं मर्त्ये सर्व्जन्तुषु काश्यप।
जायते नात्र संदेहः समीभूते शुभाशुभे॥ (2-46-29 गरुडपुराण)

After passing through different forms jivaatmas gets reborn as human when their merits and demerits are equalized. (2-46-29 Garuda Purana)

दुर्लभं त्रयमेवैतद्देवानुग्रहहेतुकम्।
मनुष्यत्वं ममुक्षुत्वं महापुरुषसंश्रयः॥ (3 विवेकचूडामणि)

There are three things which are rare indeed and are due to the grace of Ishvara namely, human birth, the longing for moksha and the protecting care of a perfected sage. (3 Viveka Chudamani)

The evidences cited above from various granthas educate us that karma is the seed of all births. How a jivaatma bound by its karmas roams in various yonis. These teach us the importance and superiority of a human birth and the opportunity it provides for all jivaatmas to strive for sadagati by following the path of dharma as all other are bhoga yonis while human birth is both bhoga and karma yoni. The grihastha ashrama sustains this cycle of life and dharma and both man & woman secure their loukik and paraloukik well-being by following the dharma of grihastha.

Importance of Grihastha Aashrama

As per traditional dharmik framework human life is like a vrata, regulated and organized by sanskara, varna and aashrama. As human birth is considered sacred, people are guided to follow dharma to the best of their abilities so that they can secure sadagati. A human practicing Sanatan Dharma not only lives for himself but also for the benefit of other jivaatmas in various yonis and conditions and contributes to their sadagati through the dharmaacharan practiced in his daily life. A Sanatana Dharmi is like a flowing river that nourishes all and then merges with the sacred ocean.

There are sixteen sacred sanskaras which are performed at specific times and on specific occasions to establish divinity in man and woman so that they can achieve complete benefits of dharmaachara.

Vivaha Sanskara is the sacrament that is performed to initiate man and woman in the grihastha aashrama. It is the only sanskara where two individuals are initiated together in vrata called Daampatya. The man and woman post marriage are considered as one that is why they are called as ardhangas of each other. In traditional framework only man and woman are eligible for marriage there is no concept of other kinds of unions. There are many rules and regulations regarding the Vivaha Sanskara in shastras which are necessary to obtain complete sacredness. Many people discard shastra based regulations and restrictions and negate the effects of violations citing that nothing is visible on the gross level, but they don’t realize that such violations don’t show effects on gross level at once, their effect starts from subtle levels in very complex ways that normal human beings cannot fathom.

There are eight types of marriages out of which some are considered auspicious and some inauspicious.

असपिण्डा च या मातुरसगोत्रा च या पितुः।
सा प्रशस्ता द्विजातीनां दारकर्मणि मैथुने ॥ (3-5 मनुस्मृति)

A girl who is not a sapinda (same gene pool) on the mother’s side nor belongs to the same family on the father’s side is recommended for all especially dwijati men for marriage. (3-5 Manusmriti)

ब्राह्मो दैवस्तथैवार्षः प्राजापत्यस्तथासुराः।
गान्धर्वो राक्षसश्चैव पैशाचश्चाष्टमो अधमः॥ (3-21 मनुस्मृति)

Brahma, Daiva, Aarsha, Prajapatya, Gandharva, Rakshasa and despicable Paishacha are eight types of marriages. (3 – 21 Manusmriti)

ब्राह्मादिषु विवाहेषु चतुष्वेवानुपूर्वशः।
ब्रह्मवर्चिस्विनः पुत्रा जायन्ते शिष्टसम्मताः॥ (3-39 मनुस्मृति)

From the four kinds of auspicious marriages enumerated spring children radiant with knowledge of the veda and honoured by the sishtas(well versed virtuous men). (3-39 Manusmriti)

अनिन्दितैः स्त्रीविवाहैर अनिन्द्या भवति प्रजा।
निन्दितैर्निन्दिता नॄणां तस्मान्निद्यान् विवर्जयेत्॥ (3-42 मनुस्मृति)

In the blameless marriages virtuous children are born to men and in blameable marriages children born lack virtues therefore people should avoid marriages that are not prescribed in shastras. (3-42 Manusmriti)

The shlokas cited above give us an idea about what kind of importance vivaha sanskar carries, what kind of unions one should look for and how negating various shastra regulations would affect the progeny.

One of the primary objectives of vivaha sanskara and grihastha aashrama is to beget children. It helps one to repay one of the dharmik debts, sustains kula and upholds varnaashrama. It sustains cycle of dharma and gives a jivaatma a chance to work towards its sadagati. Just see how unique the whole structure of Sanatan Dharma is where one jivaatma helps other one in its paramaartha.

One more crucial aspect of marriage is maintaining the sacredness and purity of beeja and yoni/bhoomi otherwise many doshas affects that kula where such sacredness and purity is not maintained. This crucial aspect related to marriage is under severe pressure these days due to changing dynamics of the society and influence of adharmik culture.

क्षेत्रभूता स्मृता नारी बीजभूतः स्मृतः पुमान।
क्षेत्र-बीजसमायोगात्संभवः सर्वदेहिनाम्॥ (9-33 मनुस्मृति)

By the sacred tradition the woman is the soil, and the man is declared to be the seed; the birth of corporeal beings takes place through the union of the soil with the seed. (9-33 Manusmriti)

विशिष्टं कुत्र चित्बीजं स्त्रीयोनिस्त्व एव कुत्र चित्।
उभयं तु समं यत्र सा प्रसूतिः प्रशस्यते ॥ (9-34 मनुस्मृति)

In some cases, the seed is more distinguished and in some the womb of the female; but when both are equal the offspring is highly virtuous. (9-34 Manusmriti)

There is a very interesting and informative dialogue in Mahabharat between Shri Krishna and Dharmraja Yudhisthira regarding this issue of beej and bhoomi/yoni outlining its importance.

बीजयोनिविशुद्धानां लक्षणानि वदस्व मे।
बीजदोषेण लोकेश जायन्ते च कथं नराः॥

O Lord of the world! Educate me about signs of people with pure beeja and raja. Also tell me about those who take birth from impure beeja.

श्रीभगवानुवाच

Shri Bhagwan (Krishna) speaks

श्रृणु राजन्यथावृत्तं बीजयोनिं शुभाशुभम्।
येन तिष्ठति लोकोऽयं विनश्यति च पाण्डव॥

O scion of Pandu! Do hear carefully about the purity & impurity of beeja and yoni. Purity of beeja and yoni upholds this world while impurity results in its destruction.

अविप्लुतब्रह्मचर्यो यस्तु विप्रो यथाविधि।
स बीजं नाम विज्ञेयं तस्य बीजं शुभं भवेत॥

Man, who practices brahmacharya diligently and keeps its brahmacharya vrata intact his beeja is considered auspicious.

कन्या चाक्षतयोनिः स्यात् कुलीना पितृमातृतः।
ब्राह्मादिषु विवाहेषु परिणीता यथाविधि॥
सा प्रशस्ता वरारोहा तस्याः योनिः प्रशस्यते।
मनसा कर्मणा वाचा या गच्छेत्परपूरुषम्।
योनिस्तस्या नरश्रेष्ठ गर्भाधानं न चार्हति॥

In similar fashion a woman who hails from a noble family and whose yoni remains unviolated and gets married as per auspicious ways prescribed by shastras is considered sacred. One who indulges with another man physically, mentally or verbally is considered ineligible for Garbhaadhana sanskara.

दैवे पित्र्ये तथा दाने भोजने सहभाषणे।
शयने सह सम्बन्धे न योग्या दुष्टयोनिजाः॥

Those who take birth from impure yonis as per shastras are not considered eligible to perform yajna, shraddha, dana etc.

यो यत्र तत्र वा रेतः सिक्त्वा शूद्रासु वा चरेत।
कामचारी स पापात्मा बीजं तस्याशुभं भवेत्॥

A man who indulges in sexual activities at any time with anyone becomes sinful and his beeja becomes inauspicious.

अशुद्धं तद्भवेद बीजं शुद्धां योनिं न चार्हति।
दूषयत्यपि तां योनिं शुना लीढं हविर्यथा॥

A sinful man’s sperm becomes impure like food licked by a dog any woman who comes in contact with such a man also becomes impure.

आत्मा हि शुक्रमुद्दिष्टं दैवतं परमं महत्।
तस्मात् सर्वप्रयत्नेन निरुन्ध्याच्छुक्रमात्मनः॥

A noble man should preserve his sperm as the veerya is considered the aatma and most revered deity.

आयुस्तेजो बलं वीर्यं प्रज्ञा श्रीश्च महद्यशः।
पुण्यं च मत्प्रियत्वं च लभते ब्रह्मचर्यया ॥

With the practice of brahmacharya one attains health, wealth, strength, intellect, greatness, divinity, punya and my bhakti.

अविप्लुतब्रह्मचर्यैर्गृहस्थाश्रममाश्रितैः।
पञ्चयज्ञपरैर्धर्मः स्थाप्यते पृथिवीतले ॥

Those grihasthas who practice brahmacharya and perform five types of yajnas; they establish the dharma on this earth. (In grihastha aashrama brahmacharya means that a man not indulging in sexual activities physically, mentally or verbally with a woman other than his wife and observing discipline even in sex with his wife.)

Begetting a child is a sacred act like yajna that is why its process starts with a sanskara. The above evidence tells us why it is necessary to preserve the veerya for men and purity of yoni for women as without maintaining the sacredness no vrata or dharmik act gets fulfilled and yields auspicious results.
It is the grihastha ashrama that builds the society, and no society can attain dharma-based progress without virtuous men and women.

त्रयाणामाश्रमाणां तु गृहस्थो योनिरूच्यते । (2-42 दक्षस्मृति)

Grihastha Aashrama is the source of origin of other three aashramas namely brahmacharya, vanaprastha and sannyasa. (2-42 Daksha Smriti)

यथा नदीनदाः सर्वे समुद्रे यान्ति संस्थितिम्।
एवमाश्रमिणः सर्वे गृहस्थे यान्ति संस्थितिम्॥ (8-14 वशिष्ठस्मृति)

Just like all the river streams take refuge of the ocean in the same manner all the aashramas take refuge of the grihastha aashrama. (8-14 Vasishtha Smriti)

यथा वायुं समाश्रित्य वर्तन्ते सर्वजन्तवः। 
तथा गृहस्थमाश्रित्य वर्तन्ते सर्व आश्रमाः॥ (3-77 मनुस्मृति)

All the aashramas survive with the help of grihastha just like all the living beings subsist with the help of air. (3-77 Manusmriti)

यस्मात्त्रयोऽप्याश्रमिणो ज्ञानेनान्नेन चान्वहम्।
गृहस्थेनैव धार्यन्ते तस्माज्जेष्ठाश्रमो गृही॥ (3-78 मनुस्मृति)

As the men in brahmacharya, vanaprastha and sannyasa are daily supported by the grihastha with sacred knowledge, food and other things therefore grihastha is the best among all aashramas. (3-78 Manusmriti)

स संधार्यः प्रयत्नेन स्वर्गमक्षयमिच्छता।
सुखं चेहेच्छता नित्यं योऽधार्यो दुर्बलेन्द्रियैः ॥ (3-79 मनुस्मृति)

Grihastha which cannot be practiced by men with weak abilities, must be carefully observed by him who desires imperishable bliss and constant happiness. (3-79 Manusmriti)

ऋषयः पितरो देवा भूतान्यतिथयस्तथा।
आशासते कुटुम्बिभ्यस्तेभ्यः कार्यं विजानता ॥ (3-80 मनुस्मृति)

The sages, the manes, the gods, the bhutas and guests expect for offerings and gifts from grihastha hence he who knows the law must give to them what is necessary through pancha yajnas. (3-80 Manusmriti)

As the shlokas quoted above say, the grihastha is considered foremost of all the four aashramas and it is like prana of all. At macro level Bhagwan Vishnu with Mata Lakshmi sustain this srishti in the same manner a grihastha fulfils the duty of sustaining life at micro level. A grihastha repays all the three dharmik debts, secures dharma, artha, kama and opportunity for attaining moksha.

Married man and woman preserve family, traditions, culture, dharmachara, tirthas, satisfy devas, pitras, bhutas etc., sustain animals and nature. A righteous grihastha lives life like a yajna that nourishes and nurtures the srishti with his purushartha.

Human existence in healthy, happy and harmonious state is possible only in dharmik framework. Grihastha Aashrama is the foundation on which this humanity stands. Grihastha is the welfare institution which benefits all if practiced in sync with dharma that is why it is necessary to preserve the grihastha in its true form.

Human birth and grihastha are linked quite closely. It is the aashrama based framework that provides right kind of atmosphere. In traditional framework man and woman carry duties which creates opportunities of sadagati for them.

Hope this effort of mine to put shastra based ideas about human birth, marriage and grihastha will create right kind of curiosity and everyone who believes in the shastra based dharma will try to explore the traditional thought process and knowledge more.

Everything that is worthy and good in this work is grace of Ishvara and all the flaws are mine.

इमांल्लाजानावपाम्यग्नौ समृद्धिकरणं तव।
मम तुभ्यमं च संवननं तदग्निरनुमन्यतामिय स्वाहा। 

O my lord! For your prosperity I am offering these oblations in the sacred fire. May this sacred offering bestow strong bond of love. May Agnideva bless our relationship and love.

ते सन्तु जरदष्टयः सं प्रियौ रोचिष्णू सुमनस्यमानौ।
पश्येम शरदः शतं जीवेम शरदः शत श्रुणुयाम शरदः शतम्।

O my beloved! May your progeny get long life, may our love remain pure, may our fame always remain unblemished, may our hearts always remain filled with positive and auspicious thoughts and desires.
May we see hundred autumns with our kids and remain healthy, may we live a long life without any sensory disturbances and may we hear auspicious news always.

Shubhamastu